Chapter 79 — King Sikhidhwaja Notices the Change in Queen Chudala

Vasishta continued:—

Thus did the queen live day by day in the bliss of her soul, her sight concentrated within herself, living in her own and proper element. She had no passion or affection, nor any discord or desire in her heart. She neither coveted nor hated anything. She was indifferent to all, but persistent and vigilant in her course of spiritual pursuit. She had passed over the wide gulf of the world and freed herself from the entangling snare of doubts. She had gained the great good of knowing the Supreme Soul that filled her inner soul. After her weariness of the world, she found her rest in God, her state of perfect bliss and joy. Her name was sounded on the lips of all men as the model of incomparable perfection.

5 In this way, Queen Chudala became acquainted with the true God in a short time because of the earnestness of her inquiry. In the same manner, the errors of the world subside under the knowledge of truth, just as they arise in the human mind by its addiction to worldliness. She found her repose in that state of perfect blessedness in which the sight of all things is lost in its dazzling blaze. She appeared as bright as a fragment of an autumn cloud that stays steady in its place. Apart from and not related with anything, she continued meditating on the Spirit in her own spirit, just as an aged bull remains careless on a mountain top where he happens to find a green meadow for his pasture. By her constant habit of loneliness and the elevation of her soul in her solitude, she became as fresh as a new grown plant, her blooming face shining like a new blown flower.

10 One time it happened to pass that King Sikhidhwaja noticed her pure beauty. Being struck with wonder at seeing her unusual gracefulness, he addressed her.

King Sikhidhwaja talking to Queen Chudala:—

11 How is it, my dear, that you are again your youthful bloom like a flowery plant of spring? You appear more brilliant than the world illuminated under the bright beams of the full moon. 12 You shine more brightly, my beloved, than one drinking the ambrosia of life, or one obtaining the object of her desire, filled with perfect delight in herself. 13 You seem quite satisfied and lovely with your graceful appearance. The beauty of your body surpasses that of the bright moon. When you approach me it is like Rati, the goddess of love, approaching her favorite Kama.

14 I see your mind rejecting all enjoyments and it is stingy of its pleasures. It is tranquil and cool, elated with spiritual intensity, and deep as it is tranquil in its nature. 15 I see your mind spurning the three worlds as if they were bits of straw and as if you have tasted all their sweets to its full satisfaction. You are above the endless conflicts and confusions of the world, and quite charming. 16 O fortunate queen, there is no enjoyment of earthly possessions that may equal the spiritual joy of your tranquil mind. The one is as dry as a sandy desert compared with the refreshing waters of the Milky Ocean.

17 Being born with tender limbs resembling the tendrils of young plantains and the soft shoots of lotus stalks, now you seem to have grown strong and stout in your body and mind. 18 Although your features and body are the same as before, you have become like another person, like a plant growing up to a tree under the influence of the revolving seasons.

19 Tell me, have you drunk the ambrosial nectar of the gods? Have you become the sovereign over an empire? Have you gained immorality by drinking the elixir of life or by the practice of hatha or raja yoga? 20 Have you gotten a kingdom or discovered the philosopher’s stone? Have you gained anything that is more precious than the three worlds? Or, O my blue eyed lady, have you obtained something that is not attainable to mankind?

21 Chudala responded:—

I have not lost my former form nor have I changed to a new one. I am ever your fortunate lady and wife. 22 I have forsaken all that is untrue and unreal and I have laid hold of what is true and real. In this way I remain your fortunate consort as ever before. 23 I have come to know that which is something, and also everything that is nothing at all. I know how all these nothings come to appear and ultimately disappear into nothing. In this way I remain your fortunate lady as ever.

24 I am as content with my enjoyments as I am without them, whether long past and gone away. I am never delighted or irritated at anything whether good or bad, but preserve my composure in all circumstances. Thus I remain your fortunate consort forever. 25 I delight only in the one empty entity that has taken possession of my heart. I take no pleasure in royal gardens and sports. I remain your fortunate princess as ever. 26 I rely constantly upon myself only, whether sitting on my seat or walking about in the royal gardens or palaces. I am not fond of enjoyments nor ashamed at their absence, and in this manner I continue as your fortunate wife as always.

27 I think myself to be the sovereign of the world, having no form of my own. Thus I am delighted in myself and appear as your fortunate and beautiful lady. 28 I am equally this and not this. I am the reality yet nothing real of any kind. I am the ego and no ego myself. I am the all and nothing in particular, and thus I remain your charming lady. 29 I neither wish for pleasure nor fear any pain. I desire no riches and do not praise poverty. I am composed with what I get and therefore I seem so very happy to you. 30 I play in the company of my friends who have governed their passions by the light of knowledge and the guidance of scriptures. That is why I seem so very pleasing to you.

31 I know, my lord, that everything that I see with my eyes, or perceive by my senses, or conceive in my mind is in realty nothing. Therefore I see something within myself that is beyond the perception of the sense organs and beyond anything the mind can conceive. This bright vision of the spirit has made me appear so very bright to your sight.